Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
