do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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