she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
