I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
