he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I would fuck him just for his dog
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
