I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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