i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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