I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
