this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
