one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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