Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Fuck appropriateness.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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