What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Randomize
