Whod you bang
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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