I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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