By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
