whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
