hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
