nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
