I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
