Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
