You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
