i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
