so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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