The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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