what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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