I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize