The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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