if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
