i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
50% drunk capacity currently
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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