There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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