We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
They have beer where we have blood.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
