When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
