Someone shit on the floor
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
