you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
