My brain says no but my pants say off.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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