I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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