Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
