ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
