shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
