There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
