Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
