Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it was like having sex with a tree stump
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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