I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it glows. i had to have it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
