let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
