So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
