I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
