I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
