it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Randomize
