my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
