i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
