Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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