your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
